Her Heart
by InfinityBreak
Summary: With an abusive father, A dead best friend, A long lost love, And a desperate need to kill herself. Sakura Haruno's life isn't the best. Will it go from bad to good?Or from bad to worse? What will save her from this hell she lives in? Or is she doomed?
1. What she misses most

She sat in her room with the lights off and the blinds shut, the sun shown through the small cracks between each plastic piece. 


	2. What do they live for?

Life. How would Sakura describe it?Her life is a piece of shit. She hated everything about it. The one person to make her think of Naruto the most has come back into her life.

So every time she sees her or talks to her her heart hurts. Was killing herself the only way to be free from this world of hurt?Could there possibly be any other way? She could run away...from it all.

Or hide away forever. That was always an option. Her life was crashing down. Her memories like poison shredding throw her body. Her unable...to do a thing about it.

Her life to her is a prison. With unbreakable bars and no key. With unwanted visitors. An eternity in the prison. No one there to bail her out. No one to give her a trial.

Was her life fair?Did she deserve the life she got? That answer is no. She did nothing in in the beginning to deserve such a crappy life. So why was it that she got one?

* * *

><p>Sakura had her eyes closed and was sprawled out on the couch. Ino yelling at Inoichi in the kitchen about something pointless like not having any money to go shopping for a week.<p>

The TV was on Phineas and Ferb. But no one was watching it. Sakura was to deep in her thoughts to notice anything around her.

_Why is my life like this? It has to end soon right? Why should life last that long. Why did Hinata have to come back and remind me every day of the hyper blond who used to always be at my side?_

_I dont see what i did wrong. Why was he taken away from me?Why did Sasuke want to leave? Why did he have to tell me how much he had always hated me? Was i really that annoying to him?_

_Mr. Perfect had a flaw. He hated me. Or girls like me. Either way it came down to me...i guess. _Sakura thought to herself.

"Dad!I WANT THE MONEY! I WANT TO GO SHOPPING!"Ino yelled.

"Ino you dont need to go shopping you have enough clothes."Inoichi said.

"WOULD YOU TWO SHUT UP!"Sakura yelled out of frustration.

"GO TO HELL FORE HEAD!"Ino yelled back.

"SHUT UP PIG!"Sakura yelled back and took cover in her dark peaceful room.

It was the only place in the house that no one ever went into. On the night stand by the table her phone started ringing. She quickly answered it.

"Hinata?"

"S-Sakura can you meet me some where?"

"Um sure where?"

"T-The Cemetery"

"Ok ill be there soon"

Sakura ran down the stairs and to the drive way where her dark red Shelby sat. She hopped in and drove to the eerie cemetery. Hinata was standing at the gate. She got out and walked over to her.

"Why did you want to come here?"Sakura asked.

"I thought we should visit him together. I-i haven't visited him yet. I was wondering if you could come with me?"

"Um sure."

The two girls walked blankly to a very missed soul. Sakura kneeled down and whipped flower petals from the Cherry blossom tree off the marble.

"N-Naruto...I loved you. I wanted you to know that...You meant every thing to me...Never once did i not care for you...Please Naruto forgive me for not keeping you home from work that day...If i had...if you had been with me that day...You'd still be with me."

Sakura blocked out the rest of what she was saying. She didnt want to here Hinata blame herself for an accident. It put her in more pain knowing that people blamed them self's for Naruto's death.

"Hinata."Sakura interrupted.

"W-what is it?"

"Lets go i cant stand it when you blame your self."

"I-I"

"Come on lets go get something to eat."

"O-ok."

They walked back to Sakura's car and went to a pizza place. They sat down at a table.

"Hinata can you promise me something?"

"Um i guess."

"Stop blaming yourself. It wasn't your fault. I need you to promise me you'll stop blaming yourself."

"Ok Sakura-Chan...Im sorry."

* * *

><p>She had her lamp on. It was the first time she had used it. She sat on her bed with a pen and paper. she was crying and she wrote.<p>

'_I know that you've been away for awhile...Do you wanna talk sometime?If you do you know where to find me. Im always in my room. I want you to know you can come see me anytime you want. I visited your mom. She missed you too i think you should go see her._'

She folded up the paper and put it in an envelope. she slipped it into a large shoe box and stuck it under her bed.

This wasn't the first one in there. She had been putting them in there for three years. Starting the day he died.

She didnt know why. It was kinda a habit. She turned the light off and and layed back.

Her eyes open staring blankly at the dark ceiling. Her mind was completely empty. Not one thought crossed her messed up mind.

Nothing to disturb her peace. Her eyelids became heavy. To heavy for her to keep open. So they fell. As she fell asleep.

'_She was sitting there in his room. Naruto's room. With Naruto sitting beside her on the bed. The room was clean and without an inch of dust. Naruto had a serious look on his._

_"Sakura promise me that you'll take care of Hinata while im gone?"_

_"What do you mean when your gone?Your not going any where are you?"Sakura asked._

_"No im not but if i do please take care of her please?"_

_"Um ok just for you."_

_"Thanks Sakura-Chan."_

_Naruto hugged her. But then everything around her started to melt. Even Naruto. He melted like he was wax being heated._

_Sakura tried to scream but nothing came out. Her voice was now completely gone.'_

Sakura's eyes flickered open. The breeze came in the open window. The sent of damp air and trees came in with it. It was still dark out and no light shown though_._

Sakura sighed. She had been dreaming of him for a couple years. She sat up and looked blankly out the window at the willow next to her room.

Her room faced a court yard that the house completely surrounded. Sakura could see a light on in Ino's room.

Sakura sat in the window and watched the moon. It was only a half moon tonight. But enough to give a eerie glow to the court yard bellow her.

The air started to become heavy and harder to breath. She looked as a very dark cloud started to cover the peaceful moon. The wind blew harder as she got down and shut the window.

Not but minutes later did it start to pour. She heard the crackling of thunder while she lay there on her bed. Unable to fall back asleep. __

The silence was almost painful. Thinking about silence made her think of how quite it had been since Naruto's passing.

Low groans came from the clouds as lightning struck miles away. She looked at her clock. The red numbers said '5:30'. Sakura sighed and sat up. She had to be at school in an hour and a half.

She sauntered to her bathroom and gabbed a cleans towel before slipping into the shower. The water was its normal cold. Just how she liked it.

Her cherry scented shampoo and conditioner made her hair smell just as it looked.

After she was clean she slipped back out of the shower and wrapped herself in her. She walked back into her room. Light now showing through the window. The clock said '6:20'.

She picked out her clothes. A black long sleeve shirt with a black heavy metal t shirt over it. Her favorite pair of ripped black skinny jeans and her black high tops.

She slowly dried her hair. She clipped her bangs off to the side and put on her thick eyeliner. She admired her snake bites. The black stones stood out from her pale skin.

She walked down the stair and into the kitchen. Inoichi was in there making coffee. He spotted Sakura and smiled.

"Would you like some sweetie?"He asked.

She nodded."Sure"

Inoichi poured her a cup. He put just the right amount of everything in it before handing it to her. She sat at the large table in the center of the kitchen.

"Thanks."She said.

"Your welcome...Did you hear that storm last night?"

"ya i was wake through the whole thing."

"So i take it you didnt get much sleep?"

"No not really but that's ok i dont need to."

"Ya and why is that?"

"Because i just sleep in the classes that we never learn anything in."

Inoichi chuckled.

"Is that so?"

Ino came down looking dull and lifeless.

"Zombified much Ino?"Sakura asked.

"Shut up i was up all night."

"Doing what?"

"Cleaning my room"

"Wow Ino i didnt think it was possible for you to clean."Sakura said letting out a snort.

"Oh shut up have you seen your room lately?"Ino protested.

"Yes i have. It is covered in my laziness."

"More like all your black crap."

"My clothes are not crap."

"Sakura you have more than clothes in that room."

"And your point?"

"Oh never mind."

"Why where you cleaning your room anyway?"

"No reason. Come on we need to get to school."

They bid goodbye to Inoichi and headed for their school. As they pulled up Shikamaru, Neji, Tenten, Hinata, and Kiba where all standing there.

They greeted them at the steps.

"Good thing your here i dont think i could have waited any longer out here."Kiba said.

"Oh shut up Kiba"Tenten said.

"Well we are here now lets go sit through Asuma-sensei's class."Ino said.

"Well the rest of us have Kurenai first so see ya"Tenten said.

Ino, Shikamaru, and Sakura headed off to class. As usual they sat at the back.

"Ok today is your quiz so i hope you studied cause if you didnt your screwed."Asuma said.

Sakura got her paper and looked at it. The questions weren't that hard. She like the rest of the class didnt study. But that was because she didnt need to. She was a straight A student.

Her math skills where beyond good. So answered all 100 questions and handed it in. Then layed her head down and fell asleep.

Ino straightened out her white skirt. She was about to fall asleep but didnt want to show it. Shikamaru and Sakura beside her where already out.

She looked hesitantly around the room. She didnt study. But unlike Sakura she needed to. She went over the last question one more time and turned it in.

She had always been afraid to fall asleep in school. You never know what you do when your asleep. But Ino knew she talked in her sleep.

She didnt want to say anything stupid so she tried fiercely to keep her eyelids from shutting.

She managed to make it though class.

* * *

><p>They all sat in Kakashi's home room at the end of the day. The wanted the bell to ring so badly. But there was still twenty minutes to go. All of them where watching the clock.<p>

Quietly, as if stalking prey. The only sound was them breathing. A soft low sound. Ten minutes past as the impatient teens waited for the bell to sound.

Ino started twitching. Shikamaru looked at her with worry. Ino had never been a very patient person. She didnt like waiting.

"Uhh Ino are you ok?"Shikamaru asked.

"Im...Fine"She said through her teeth.

Ino was trying hard not to scream. Shikamaru only seemed slightly disturbed by her emotions. Like Shikamaru say 'Troublesome'.

The bell rang and Ino was out and screaming. Sakura on the other hand was slowly walking to the car. Her face showed no sign of emotion.

"Sakura we are going to the ice cream shop wanna come?"Tenten asked.

"Sure."Sakura said.

Ino was sitting in the car with the expression of a maniac. Sakura got in.

"Fallow Neji."Sakura said.

Ino nodded and fallowed Neji's black corvette.

* * *

><p>Ino and Sakura sat at the dinning room table. Their soup sitting in front of them untouched. Neither where hungry.<p>

"I dont get it Ino"Inoichi began.

"What dont you get i failed the test."Ino said.

"How did you fail it?"

"I didnt study."

"Im going out."Sakura said as she walked out of the dinning room. She grabbed the keys to her car and went for a drive.

She drove through a neighborhood that was from her child hood. The house she lived in when her mom was around was there. It was a run down old house that looked like it would fall down.

Her phone rang. It was Tenten.

"Hey Tenten what up."

Tenten was crying.

"Sakura come to Hinata's house now."She said before hanging up.

Sakura slammed on the gas. She didnt know what happened but she knew it wasn't good. As she pulled up there where cop cars and ambulances along the streets.

Sakura spotted Tenten and ran over to her.

"Tenni whats wrong?"Sakura asked.

But Her eyes landed on a broken body of a girl. She was covered in blood and had...purple hair.

Sakura felt like her heart had stopped. She ran over to the body.

"Hinata!Wake up!"She yelled.

An officer grabbed her and pulled her back.

"Shes _dead_ she was hit by a car and _Killed_."He said.

Two words stuck out to Sakura. _Why killed?_

"S-she cant be dead...Hinata...You cant be dead. SHES NOT DEAD I WONT BELIEVE IT !"Sakura yelled.

The officer hauled Sakura off the scene to where Neji and Tenten where crying. Sakura was screaming and trying to get away. When she finally did she ran to her car and left.

Driving down the road with tears flowing out of her eyes. Driving toward the house. She ran in. Straight to her room. Tears spilling out of her red eyes.

Ino fallowed her. To worried about her sister. Sakura screamed and punched a hole in her wall.

"S-Sakura?"

"AHHHHHHHHHH WHY?WHAT DID SHE EVER DO?"Sakura screamed.

"Who?What happened?"Ino asked keeping a distance.

"WHY?YOU TOOK NARUTO!NOW HER!"Sakura screamed upward.

Ino stood there. Not knowing who she was talking about. But she was troubled by the fact she knew it was one of her friends. Ino used the word her to know it was either Hinata or Tenten.

"SAKURA TELL ME WHO THE HELL DIED!"Ino screamed.

She needed to know. Sakura collapsed on the floor in front of her. She was crying and clutching her stomach.

"H-H-i-n-a-t-a"She chocked out.

Ino gasped and put her hand up to her soft lip gloss covered lips. Hinata had become very good friends with Ino. A tear slipped through her shinny blue eyes.

"WHY?"Sakura screamed again.

"IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME!SHE WAS PERFECT!I HATE YOU FOR THIS!"She continued.

Ino was now on her knees. Her hands in her face. It was the first time she had ever lost someone in her life. She now knew what it felt like. To loose a friend.

Sakura was screaming. It was almost as bad as when Naruto died.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"She yelled.

"Why?"Ino whispered through her tears.

Sakura jumped up. Still screaming. Tears still flowing out of her eyes. She ran through the house. Out the door and in her car. She quickly drove to the highway. Cursing to the sky. Her speedometer hit 200 as she swerved, dodging cars and trucks.

The car was now in the air. Her life started flashing before her eyes. Sasuke in her vision. The first time she tried to kiss him. Then her hugging Naruto and Sasuke after a long trip away from them.

The first time someone asked her out. Her first kiss with Naruto. The car hit the ground. The engine caught on fire and the car was tumbling. It was being crushed every time it hit the ground.

Sakura felt something snap and then it was all black to her. But the car rolled to a stop.

* * *

><p>Ino sat in the house crying. Three hours after Sakura's wreck. No news on weather or not Sakura was alive or not. Ino clutching her heart. Listing to 'My immortal by evanescence'. A sad slow song.<p>

Her dad was at the hospital. She refused to go. She was shaking on her bed.

"She...Why...i...cant loose her..too...please Sakura..."Ino said. her words shook.

"Dont take her away...I cant stand another death in the same day."

Her tears hot her face wet and her eyes were red. Shikamaru was sitting in the room with her.

"Ino"He said as he took her hand.

She didnt look at him. She had called him when Sakura left. He had been there ever since.

"Please."He said.

"PLEASE!PLEASE WHAT?"Ino screamed.

Shikamaru sighed.

* * *

><p>"Im sorry."A doctor said.<p>

Inoichi standing there.

"She's not dead is she?"He asked.

"Im not sure. She should be dead. But right now there is something keeping here alive. I just dont know what."The doctor said.

"Im a doctor do you mind if i look at her?"Inoichi asked.

"I dont know Sir she is pretty banged up. You dont want to see her like she is."The doctor said.

"So its bad."Inoichi said.

"Like i said. She should be dead. I have no idea how she is still alive."

"Can you tell me her injuries at least please?"

"She has a broken back a crushed skull. A broken arm and leg. Four broken ribs."

* * *

><p>Shikamaru held her tight. The blond was asleep in his arms. She had cried herself asleep. He moved her bangs out of her face.<p>

He had never noticed that she was truly beautiful. Her cheeks shinned from the tears.

Shikamaru smirked and wrapped his arms around her limp body. Her body warm and comforting.

Shikamaru got butterflies in his stomach as he watched her sleep. But a chill rushed up his spine as he thought of Hinata's death.

She had always wished to be with Naruto. And she has gotten her wish. Shikamaru never knew Naruto.

But Hinata used to talk about him as if he where perfect. Now Kiba was hurting. He had lost his one love Hinata.

Where they all going to be hurt? Shikamaru was very smart but couldn't think of one reason Hinata deserved to die.

Because she didnt. She was the sweetest person he knew. She wouldn't hurt a fly.

Hinata was what you could call perfect. Though she was always very shy with most people. Almost flawless. There wasn't a reason that Hinata had to die. Other than it was her time.


	3. what is truely underneath

Her eyes slowly opened. She had no idea where she was. Every muscle her body ached. Glancing around the room she spotted Inoichi. Asleep in the corner.

Braces held her in place. She groaned as she tried to move. Inoichi sat up quickly. He looked at her.

"Sakura?"He asked.

"Hmm"She said.

"Are you ok?"he asked.

"W-What happened?"Sakura asked.

"You wrecked your car."

"Oh."She looked away. She wanted to die. She tried. Again. But yet again it didnt work.

"Sakura you should have died...The doctor said there isn't a possible way you could have survived."

The flames of her anger started to burn her heart.

"Why?Why didnt i die than?"She said through her teeth.

"I dont know...They dont know why your alive now. You shouldn't be."

Sakura sighed.

"That was suicide Sakura why did you do it?"

"Because it was suicide."

* * *

><p>"I want to see my sister!"Ino yelled at the lady at the desk.<p>

"Im sorry ma'am but she has been out for hours we dont know if she is ok yet."They lady said.

"You listen to me!I can put you out of your job do you have any idea who i am!"Ino yelled once more.

"Um no ma'am"The lady said.

"INO YAMANAKA"Ino screamed.

The ladies eye where wide now. Who didnt know who Ino was? I mean really? She was one of the richest people in Konoha.

"She is in room 309"The lady said.

Ino smirked at her victory and ran off down the hall. Shikamaru slowly fallowing behind her. Ever since Hinata died Shikamaru had been spending a lot of time with Ino. Always comforting her when she thought about it and broke down.

"Ino slow down"Shikamaru yawned.

But the blond was to far ahead to hear him. She stopped in front of the door. She turned the nob and found her dad looking out the window and Sakura laying on the bed. She looked like a rag doll.

No make up on. Her hair was a mess. She looked as though she had been crying. But she was staring at the ceiling.

She was in shock at how bad the damage from the wreck looked. Though she couldn't see the wounds the bandages showed it all. She was almost covered in them.

Sakura looked over at the door where Ino and now Shikamaru where standing.

"Oh great one more person to lecture me on how stupid i am."She said to quiet for anyone to here.

Ino started to tear up. Shikamaru looked at Ino in horror*sweat drop*.He had learned to hate when she cried.

She was just to emotional for her own good. Ino slowly walked over to Sakura. Placing her hand on the bed.

"S-Sakura"Her voice cracked.

"Please dont leave me."Ino added.

"Does it look like i left you?"Sakura asked.

She was a little annoyed that all her suicide attempts have turned to her still alive and just even more hurt.

"You could have. I dont know why your still alive but you are. Daddy told me every thing."

"Coarse he did"

"What is your problem?"

"What is my problem?My problem is i cant seem to die. Its all i want...and i cant even have that."

"Maybe you should stop trying...Seeing as it wont work."Ino said.

* * *

><p>She was pacing around her living room. Two brown hair boys where sitting on the couch. One was trying hard not to cry and the other was staring at the pacing girl.<p>

"Tenten...Sakura will be fine...Dont worry about her."Neji said.

"Im just so scared...We already lost Hina and...I dont want to lose Sakura too."

"Please dont say her name."Kiba said.

Just the thought of her made him brake. Now Tenten was talking about her.

"Why shouldn't i?Huh?I've known her my whole life i think i have a right to say her name after she dies!"

"Tenten!"Neji said firmly.

"Why is this happening to us,Neji? We meet Ino and Sakura and then Hina dies and Sakura tries to kill herself."

"I dont know Tenten...But i do know that it was really hard for Sakura. This was the second death of one of her friends. Hinata...She was like a sister to Sakura."

"What about you Neji?You dont seem to be affected by her death. She was your cousin."

"Its affecting me too. But I am not as weak as you. i can hold my emotions in."

"Ya you have no emotion!"Tenten yelled before storming off.

* * *

><p>She sat there. At home. But not even able to walk up the stairs to her own room. She sat in the living room. Her wheel chair next to the couch she was sitting on.<p>

Her dinner, now cold sitting untouched in front of her. All her friends sitting around her. Ino was a lot happier now that Sakura was back home. But yet she was not nearly as happy with Hinata gone.

"When is her funeral Neji?"Tenten asked.

"Its Friday."He said.

"She told me something years ago you guys should take into consideration."Sakura said.

"What is it?"Tenten asked.

"She told me that when she died she wanted to be buried next to Naruto. She loved him till the day she died so i would do as she wished."Sakura said.

Kiba hadn't liked the thought of Hinata with someone besides him. He just didnt like the idea.

"Kiba is that ok with you?"Ino asked.

"Ya if that's what Hina wanted."He said. But inside he would never do it. He thought she was his.

They all nodded. Nothing more to say.

Inoichi walked in smiling.

* * *

><p>She looked at herself in the mirror. She was in a black punk spaghetti strap dress that went down above her knees.<p>

It looked at if it was torn. she wore black fishnet leggings and a fishnet long sleeve underneath the dress. She also had on her knee high combat boots.

Today was a sad day. It was Friday. Hinata's funeral. She walked down stairs to an unfamiliar sight. Ino in all black.

Her short black dress with black high tops made her look like Sakura. Almost. Her hair was down and in her face. Probably to cover that she was crying.

Inoichi was going to. But to comfort the two girls. Sakura remembered Naruto's funeral. It was one of the worst days of her life.

It was an open casket. She stood by his lifeless body and talked to it for an hour before they made her leave.

Sakura heard a honk from outside and knew it was the limo that they where taking. She walked out of the house and to the limo.

* * *

><p>They all wore pretty much the same thing. As they stood around Hinata's coffin Kiba dug his nails into Sakura's arm.<p>

He wasn't taking her death very well. Hinata's dad was talking about her past. Ino was crying beside Sakura. Shikamaru was holding her tight.

Tenten was sitting in the grass staring at the coffin with tears in her eyes. Neji was waiting for his turn to talk about his beloved family member.

But Sakura was standing there letting Kiba destroy her arm with his nails. All she could see was an open casket with Naruto inside. Her memories taking over.

Hinata's father stopped talking and Neji cleared his throat. Bring Sakura out of her memories.

"Um well my cousin...you see...she was a very good kid...Shy but very caring. She could always make you happy no matter what. I dont know what the rest of my life is gonna be like without my favorite cousin. Um...I...im gonna really miss her."He said.

It wasn't much but every body got what Neji was saying. He missed Hinata. Sakura placed a black rose on top of a bunch of red and white roses on the casket.

Backing up slowly she headed for the gate. Kiba stopped her by digging his nails into her arm once more. This time tiny streams of warm blood ran down her arm. She sighed.

Tenten stood up and took a hold of Neji's arm before burring her face in his neck. Shikamaru pick Ino up bridal style when she cried herself to sleep.

All her friends where a complete mess. Sakura stood there. Almost lifeless. Her arm now numb from Kiba.

She was in a world filled with hurt. With sorrow. Any one would have been able to kill themselves but it was like she was immune to death.

"Kiba your cutting through Sakura's skin"Shikamaru pointed out.

Kiba hadn't noticed. He looked down at her arm. A horrified look on his face.

"Im sorry Sakura. I...didnt know..."Kiba said.

"It alright...I dont really care any way."She said not taking her eye off the casket.

* * *

><p>The night was still. She was wearing her funeral clothes. She was sitting on the bench in the court yard. A gentle breeze would hit her every now and then.<p>

The moon was full and the tree shaded her from its light. But the stillness of the rest of the court yard was mind blowing.

Not a light on in the house. Every one asleep. But yet she felt as if she was being watched.

Shikamaru maybe?No he had to be asleep. She didnt know why. _I must be paranoid. _She thought.

She sighed and walked into the quiet house. Her room dark and lifeless. She changed into some more comfortable clothes. But she didnt quite go to sleep.

She lay there on her bed. Staring at the clock that said 1:26 am. Drifting. She fell asleep. Dreaming of nothing more than blackness.

* * *

><p>She looked at the clock one more time before getting out of bed. It said 12:59. She slipped silently down the stairs to her family. She heard Ino's voice. She was yelling.<p>

"I swear i saw her!Im not lying!"She yelled.

"Ino you couldn't have seen her shes DEAD!"A voice said. The last word was almost yelled.

As Sakura walked into the room She saw Kiba standing there arguing. Neither of them noticed Sakura standing there.

"Dont say that! Dont even go there you asswhole!"Ino screamed.

"Listen bitch ive known Hinata longer than you i dont need you telling me what to do."

"Ive known her longer than either on of you so SHUT THE HELL UP!"Sakura said.

The two looked at her. Baffled by her presents. Ino frowned. Kiba started to tear up again.

Sakura layed down on the couch. Her head started to ache. She hated when people argued.

_Can i cheat death? If i stop trying...Will it just happen. I wonder. No. I dont care anymore. ..What ever._

_"Sakura stop dwelling on the past."A voice said._

_"Who are you?"Sakura asked._

_She could see nothing. There was blackness all around her. Then a face started to come into view. It was Naruto._

_"Naruto?"Sakura asked._

_"Stop dwelling on the past. Hinata. Shes happy."Hinata come into view next to Naruto. She was smiling._

_"There is no need for suicide. Your life will get better. I promise."Hinata said._

Sakura opened her eyes. She was still laying there. But it seemed as if it was only a dream. But she knew Hinata was probably happier now than she was without being with Naruto.

She must have been asleep for hours but it only felt like seconds. The only one who is still alive from her childhood that she was friends with was Sasuke. Or at least she thinks he is still alive. Maybe he died before Naruto. Or just died recently. But she would never know.

He has no contact with her and never will. If she ever saw him again she would probably kill him or make him suffer for what he did to them.

Or her now. Its not like Naruto would feel any better if Sasuke got what he deserved.

He was a cold hearted bastered. Not that it mattered. But he always was so amazing. He seemed to do everything right in Sakuras eyes until he left and broke everything.

Now he meant nothing to her. But she could still feel her love. Deep down inside her. Trapped by all her pain.

But she didnt care. She didnt want it to come out. It could stay there forever for all she cared as long as one day she gets to die. Hoping it would be soon but knowing it will be a long tome from now.

She sat up. Her head ache had gone away and she no longer cared if Ino and Kiba fought over stupid things.

But what Sakura couldn't figure out was _why _Hinata had to die. Did she wish to die to be with Naruto? Did she just happen to be in the wrong place at the wrong time?

Those where questions that would be forever unanswered. Untouched by any possibility. Leaving Sakura to her empty life. Empty mind.

Empty soul. That's what she was. An empty soul. She had no real life. Not one she could call her own.

Her dad was in prison and her mom was probably in a bar somewhere trying to get a guy to touch her in the right ways.

She was now living with Ino and her dad Inoichi. Struggling with the deaths of two of her closest friends.

And also dealing with a bipolar Ino and Kiba. Shikamaru was no help and Tenten and Neji where never any help either. It was just her.

But really there wasn't anything special about her either. Except that she had tried and tried to kill her self but each time it failed.

Leaving her with even more days to suffer through. Even more pain to bare on her back. Leaving her wishing that one day she wont wake up from her sleep. That she will pass peacefully away to the place shes destined to spend eternity in.

At least that's what she wished would happen. But Sakura had never gotten her way. Ever. Not with love. Not with family. Not with pain. And Not with death.

There is so much that she wants to live for. But cant because all those things have forced themselves out of her life. So what is she supposed to do now?

"When i was a boy i dreamed of having twins."Inoichi said from behind her."One boy one girl. But Ino's mother only had one child before she died of cancer at age 30. I cried for weeks after she died. and then for more week thinking i would never have more than one child. But hen you came along. somehow i knew that you where going to be mine one day."

"so you wanted more than one kid?"Sakura asked.

"yes. Badly. That's all i wanted but i never got it till you came around."He said.

"Well looks like you got your wish."

"Yes but you havnt gotten yours yet now have you?"

"If i did id be in the ground next to Naruto and Hinata."

"I see still want to die. I guess when one truly wants something they stop at nothing to get it. And you seem to be trying very hard to get where you want to go."

"I truly want it."


	4. between you and me

_December 25th._

_Why the hell do i seem to care so much about her all of the sudden. I haven't seen or talked to her in years. I hate her. She was so damn annoying. Along with that dumb ass blond. But now here i am thinking about her and wondering what shes up to or where she is. Shes probably dating a nice guy and smiling all the time now. But what do i care. I DON'T ok?_

Sasuke was sitting in his apartment building. He had just finished righting down his daily journal. He looked out the window. Down the 24 story drop down to the road beneath.

He knew why he was thinking about her. His new job with his father required him to move back. To that one place he told himself he'd never return. He took one more look at his apartment.

"Why cant you just be happy Sasuke. Your father. That's all he wants." His mother said from behind him.

"I told you. They are there. I. I dont belong there. I never will."He voice was emotionless but his eyes where full of sorrow.

"Your brother would have wanted you to be happy. Ever since he passed away you stopped smiling. Your not living the right way."

"How should i live then? Should i not morn the death of my big brother?"

"No, not at all. Just. You need to be happy."

Sasuke looked at her." I crushed them when i left. What do you think will happen if they find me back?"

* * *

><p>G<em>uess what? I miss you. I hope your happy with Hinata. Tell her i said hi and i miss her too. I have no more light in my life. At first you where my life. But then you died. Then Ino was my light. But it seems her light has vanished along with Hinata. I wish you would answer me back. In any way would be nice. Oh ya i dont know if you heard but i tried to kill my self again. Ya. As you can tell it didnt work. Im not dead or dieing. Anyway miss ya Naruto cant wait to see you again. But your in heaven for sure. I know im not gonna end up there. <em>__

_Love, Sakura Haruno, Your best friend.___

Sakura put the next note into the shoe box before sliding it underneath her bed. She lay back on her bed and stared up at the black ceiling.

Her radio turned on.

_'If i die young,  
>bury my in satin<br>lay me down on a bed of roses  
><em>_sink me in the river at dawn send me away with the  
>words of a love song,'<em>

Sakura turned out the rest and thought about those first words. The moon started to shine into her widow. Soon she drifted off into a deep sleep.

* * *

><p>"I see that this is going to be harder than i thought when you hired me Mr. Yamanaka. She seems very. well shes going to need a lot of work."<p>

"That is quite fine. Thank you Mr. Hatake."

"Your welcome. now miss Haruno." The man said.

"i dont need a therapist."

"By the condition of your wrists i would say you do"

Sakura looked at him."you know all therapist are are stupid bastards that like to get in every ones business. So if you dont mind id love it if you would just go to hell."

"Well I'll have your life straightened out in no time."

"I dont need your help. Or want it. Just leave your fired."

Sakura got up and walked out of the office. Ino must have known it wouldn't last long because she was sitting outside the building in her car. Sakura slid into the front seat.

"So a therapist eh?"Ino asked.

"Ya and hes about as noisy as a five year old. He can stay out of my life that how he can help me. Or he can kill me either way i wont have to deal with him."

* * *

><p>It was Sunday. It was raining. Inoichi was at church. Ino had stopped going when Hinata died. But now it was cold. Neither girl had bothered to turn up the heat so it was just as cold in the house as it was outside.<p>

Each of them sitting in their rooms thinking about the ones they had lost. Ino had hot tears streaming slowly down her cheeks. Sakura sat with no emotion. The only thing on her mind was death. How death had taken things from her and wouldn't allow her to join them.

Why couldn't she join them? She didnt see why that something kept holding her back. It didnt make sense. What was she still alive for? Is there any reason that she has to be on this earth?

Could she find out? Would there be something that showed her that she might have something to live for? Would her mother come back. Saying that she wanted Sakura back. Would that bring her back to her normal self? No. How could it? There was no way to bring that girl back.

Imagine it. Sakura as a sweet happy girl who cared about what her grades where. Who had two loving parents. Her two best friends Sasuke and Naruto hanging out with her every day.

That Sakura is gone. And has been for years now. She cant come back. Even if she had her mother...or...Sasuke.

Sakura's door opened. Neji and Tenten walked in. Sakura looked up. Tenten looked..well...a bit happier. But not by much. She wasn't crying that's for sure.  
>Tenten sat on the bed next to Sakura.<p>

"How you doing?"She asked.

"Im fine...you should check on Ino. Shes been alone for a few days."

"Shikamaru is in there with her. She'll be fine." Neji said.

Sakura nodded.

"Why are you here?" Sakura asked.

"Thought we would check on you."

"Oh...Im going out."

"Where."

"To see old friends." Sakura said. She grabbed her jacket and walked out of the house.

She walked slowly along the familiar streets. Back toward Konoha's ghetto. Where all the creepers watched as she walked by. Down to a bright orange house on the other side of town. The house with that same orange comero that's been sitting in the drive way for years.

Its the first time in a while that she's wanted to smile. She walked up the stairs. Slowly she pressed the door bell. A few seconds later Kushina pulled open the blue door.

The women instantly ran out the door and rapped her arms around Sakura.

"Its so good to see you again sweety."Kushina said.

A man walked out. He resembled Naruto so much. The same blond hair, the same bright blue eyes. Minato Uzamaki.

He looked at Sakura for a long time.

"Pink hair, Emerald eyes...Sakura?"He said.

Sakura nodded. She saw his eyes get misty. He too couldn't help be rap his arms around her.

"We've missed you Sakura."Minato beamed."Kushina told me you stopped by a few weeks ago...Its a shame i didnt get to see you then."

"Yeah i was here...I needed someone to talk to. Hina...Um...I thought you should know that.."Sakura couldn't seem to get those dreadfully words out of her mouth.

"What happened to Hinata? Is she ok?"Kushina pushed for the answer.

"Hina was hit by a bus a couple of weeks ago and was killed instantly. They say she didnt feel a thing." Sakura managed.

A terrified gasp came from Kushina." Oh...Hinata..."Was all that Minato could say.

They loved Hinata almost as much as Naruto did. They wanted her and Naruto get married. They wanted her to be the daughter-in-law. But that wouldn't happen.

Now both Naruto and Hinata are dead.

"Naruto...I had a dream about him...I think he was trying to tell me something. He said that he was happy...Hinata...he said she was with him and that she was happy too. He said not to worry." Sakura explained.

"At least they are happy."Minato added.

Sakura nodded. She watched as Kushina cried from the loss of yet another loved one.

At least an hour had past without a word spoken but Sakura still enjoyed being there more than anything. Considering she hadn't left the house in a few days It make sense she would prefer a change in location.

"Sakura i want you to have something."Minato said. He threw he a pair of keys.

"Whats this?"Sakura asked.

"They're the keys to Naruto's car." He said.

"Why? Why would you give them to me?"

"Because you where his best friend. You deserve it."

* * *

><p>As Sakura pulled up into the driveway she saw Neji and Tenten sitting on the wrap around porch. She got out of the car and walked into the house without looking at them.<p>

She headed straight to her room. On her bed was a cassette. There was a note next to it.

'_Sakura i found this when you moved in here...Thought you'd want to see it...Must have lost it a long time ago...It made me cry.  
><em>_  
>Ino'<em>

She didnt bother with it. she knew what it was. It was a video she and Naruto made that they planned on sending to Sasuke once they found out where he went.

But that wasn't going to happen. She refused to look for that bastard. After what he did? Hell no.

_'Hey Naruto,_

_My life should be ending soon. This show will be canceled and They will only play the reruns. I will be with you soon, dont you worry. Hinata too. I miss her, and you. Can believe it will be four years in a couple of weeks. Ya, I know, feels like forever...Cant wait to see you again.'_

_Love you, Sakura.'_

_  
><em> 


End file.
